Jesus , bless him , please .

pernah kan kesel sama bokap atau nyokap u ? rasa na pengen kabur dari rumah . pengen banting - banting barang . pengen teriak- teriak . pengen ngata-ngatain dia sambil nangis . berharap dia bakal minta maaf sama kita dan meluk kita . tapi gw cuma bisa diem . nangis . gw tahan semuanya . gw gag pengen dia tau kalo gw sedih . kalo gw barusan sakit hati gara-gara kata-kata dia .
Gw baru di babtis jadi katholik jadi gw mulai untuk selalu berdoa sebelum makan . bukan sok suci . bukan pura-pura baik . tapi gw bener-bener mau bersyukur . Tuhan masih kasih gw makanan buat hari ini . Tapi bokap malah ngoceh- ngoceh seakan-akan dia bilang kalo bersyukur itu gag ada gunanya . Bokap emang lagi banyak pikiran, gw yakin itu . Dia pasti ngerasa kalo Tuhan itu lagi gag adil sama dia . Mungkin dia udah pernah ngikutin kata-kata gw . Tapi dia ngerasa kalo doa dia um pernah di denger .
Tapi kata-kata dia bikin gw sakit hati . Gua gag suka sifat dia yang selalu ngejelek-jelekin hal yang gua lakuin . Dia gag tau kalo gw selalu berdoa buat dia . Supaya dia selalu sehat . Supaya dia banyak rezeki . Supaya dia bisa seneng-seneng tiap ari dan bisa ngelewatin semua masa-masa susah . Tapi sikap dia seakan gag pernah menghargai . Gw nangis .
Dia gag akan pernah tau kalo Tuhan sebenernya gag pernah ninggalin dia . apa yang bisa gw lakuin supaya dia sadar ? Gw Cuma bisa berdoa .
Gw berdoa supaya bkap sehat . supaya bokap banyak rezeki . supaya bokap bahagia . gw bilang dalam doa gw . gag masalah kalo gw yang sakid . kalo gw yang nangis terus setiap hari . Asal bokap gw bahagia itu aja kok .
Bokap orang yang paling gw sayang di dunia . gw bakal terus rajin blajar . Nilai gw bakal tetep bagus . Gw dapetin semua beasiswa . Walaupun dia gag akan meluk gw dan bilang kalo gw anak yang pinter .
Gw pengen banged di peluk ama dia . Sebelum tidur , dia nyelimutin . nyium gw trus matiin lampu . bilang nite .
Ya udah lah . yang penting gw belajar dua hal hari ini : gw akan slalu bersyukur dan memaafkan . gua akan selalu bersyukur walaupun dalam keadaan susah . dan gw akan memaafkan walaupun dia gag bilang maaf .
Jangan pernah bales kata-kata orang tua . Itu bikin hati mereka sedih . Mereka emang gag selalu bener . Tapi mereka juga gag bener-bener salah . Pasti ada sisi baik yang bisa kita ambil . Jangan pernah sampai kamu menghina orang tua kamu .
Abis nangis ya senyum lagi . Kita masih punya Tuhan dan temen-temen kita kok . GBU .

the #1 song i made .

i made this song because i can't sleep . i was awaken because i slept too much at noon . hehe . 

i was so mad with my ex . so . this song is absolutely NOT ABOUT HIM . he was not inspiring me . 

here it is . i hope you'll like it . 

chord : G D Bm A repeated over and over again .

" i wake up with a smile

i dreamed 'bout you last night .

jumped out from my bed then have a little dance .

i wish it's not just on my mind .

i hope you're here right now .

outside my window , holding roses n then say

i love you 

want you be mine ?

i promis you to always be by your side

oh and i will never gonna let you cry 

monday tuesday everyday 

smile 

bridge : Bm A G D 

oh god please tell me

what should i do now

to make this moment oh perfect yeah perfect

so i pick a smile then hold his hand tight

to sing with him forever and ever 

i love you

and now i'm yours

i promise you ta always be by your side .

and i'll make your day brighter than before 

monday tuesday everyday smile ."

do you like it ? i'll post the video later . and i don't know what the title is . any idea?

what's in my heart

what do you know about me ?
have you ever been in my position ?
do you think it's easy ?

ok . this is real . i have been chased by two guys ( actually , there are more ) who used to be my buddies . we're quiet close and i was so happy back then . i didn't know that they like me since the very start . maybe , because i was so stupid . i didn't look closer . well , it was the past . just face the now . now i know . it's not good . things are change . slowly they began to tell me that they loved me . how could it be?

what should i do? that's the point . should i pretend that i don't know anything ? impossible . should i stay away from them ? i don't want to . i decided to be fair . but they want something more .

what is so special with me? u say that i'm beautiful and extraordinary . there are millions other girls , but why are you so simple minded ?

ok . here is the thing , guy # 1 :

1. i don't really like the way you care . it's too much . it reminds me of my ex sometimes . i was kinda sick of him . soo . excuse that .
2. your point of view is too childish . i don't like it . i'm not the only girl that you would meet in your whole life . it's not as simple as a fairytale . it's not like you're the prince and i'm the princess .
3. u use your heart too much . you look so weak and awful when you say something serious and you were about to cry ( just like that ) . i don't like drama . i'm so sick of drama .
4. something is wierd about you , i don't know . it's just uncomfortable .
5. you are not that reliable . i know you care so much . u say that you'll always be there . but i can't see your presence .
6. your negative thoughts is killing me .
7. i can't find anything special . you are a good guy . a very very good guy . i know . but there is nothing so special . like a sweet apple on the basket of sweet apples .
   

i'm sorry . thank you for loving me . i just want you to be my friend . can you accept that ?

you need to learn something about me :

1. i'm unpredictable .
2. i'm more than just a pretty face . in fact, people love my personality .
3. i dont like something usual . i'm unusual .